you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
