I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize