Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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