i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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