if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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