Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
