I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
