absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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