am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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