soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
