new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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