yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
