were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
