Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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