We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
