I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
