Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
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You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
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You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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