new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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