I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
His hands were made for my vagina.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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