Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Yo dont text me then not text me
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
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so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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