I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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