so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I want her autograph on my taint
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
