K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
