Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
