yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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