I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
