Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
