i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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