You're so nebulous sometimes
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.