Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well