My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You took a bar mat shot.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize