Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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