Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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