It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
