i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
