areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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