He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
