Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
