I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
