Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
