dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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