Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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