East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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