I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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