I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
