I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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