worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
