I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
