I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
