I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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