her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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