so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
