Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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