Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
