i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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