We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
