Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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