haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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