As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
