Moan for me like Helen Keller
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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