The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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