There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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