Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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