YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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