Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
