I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
