i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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