i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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