If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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