So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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