I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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