i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
